Saranda: My name is Saranda. I am 13 and half years old, and I am from Kosova.

Aida-S: Before the war, how was your life?

Saranda: well, it was pretty much normal, just like in any country; you know, with your family, going to school, you know, just normal life. It was good, you know.

Aida-S: Were your parents working?

Saranda: My Dad, actually, he was a secretary, but he got kicked out by the Serbs. So he just worked like a little bit, you know. But my Mom didn't work. She had the children to take care of, so she couldn't work, you know.

Aida-S: So, when the war started?

Saranda: In 1998.

Aida-S: And, how old were you in that time?

Saranda: I was like nine, ten years old.

Aida-S: So, did the war come suddenly or you knew it was gonna come?

Saranda: No, we knew 'cause we had problems with Serbs like a long time, a very long time, so we knew, we expected to be a war between us.

Aida-S: Do you know what kind of problems, why did you have problems with them?

Saranda: Well, the Serbs wanted our land mostly, so that was like the biggest problem. They wanted to live in our country.

Aida-S: Then, when the war started, how was that? How was your life during the war?

Saranda: It was terrible. We slept with our clothes and shoes on, 'cause we were afraid that they were gonna come and shoot us. We couldn't run away, we slept in basement, we didn't have enough food. The men couldn't go out to go shopping, so we had to go out by ourselves, the children, only, and it was terrible.

Aida-S: The men couldn't go because...

Saranda: Because they were gonna shoot them.

Aida-S: Only men, not women and children?

Saranda: No, no. Not yet. The men mostly. They wanted to kill the men first, 'cause the men were the strongest ones, who support us and stuff.

Aida-S: They just wanted to kill them or they wanted to take them, like, to fight for them?

Saranda: No, mostly to kill them. They did terrible things to them, like massacres, and stuff, you know.

Aida-S: Did you have good food to eat?

Saranda: No, um, we had, like, the same food every day, we had some potatoes and tomatoes, you know, stuff at home. That was the only stuff that we could use, 'cause we couldn't go shopping any more, 'cause there were police all over. And, um, that's mostly what we had, potatoes mostly.

Aida-S: Yeah. How about you kids, when you had to eat all the same food all days? How did you feel, did you complain about that?

Saranda: No, not really, no. 'cause we were glad that we were alive, you know, we didn't really care.

Aida-S: So, you understood pretty much?

Saranda: Yes, yes.

Aida-S: So, you spend all the time in the house. Did you hide in basement?

Saranda: Yes, in basement. The basement of my house. With my Grandparents and my family, and then my aunts came also.

Aida-S: You lived all together?

Saranda: Yes. No, my aunts lived in their own houses, but they got kicked out of the house by the Serbs, so they had to come and live with us.

Aida-S: So, how long have you been there, in Kosova during the war?

Saranda: For like one year.

Aida-S: And then, what happened?

Saranda: And then, in 1999, first the Serbs were going to farms to kill all the people and kick them out and stuff. And they took us all in XXX in my country, Prishtina, in my state. That was like the capital in my country. They took everybody in a XXX, and then they put them in the train to bring them to Macedonia. We thought we were gonna be killed, you know, just all of us, you know, but they brought us there. It was like a camp. They gave us some meal and stuff, and it was really, really cold. We didn't have blankets and stuff like that. We had to sleep on the ground of Macedonia.

Aida-S: So, Serbs took you to Macedonia?

Saranda: Yes.

Aida-S: They just wanted you out of Kosova?

Saranda: Out of my country, yes.

Aida-S: So they could have chance to take over the land?

Saranda: Yes, yes, And some people who didn't wanna leave, they just got shot.

Aida-S: When you got to Macedonia you slept...

Saranda: On the ground, on the field.

Aida-S: All the time?

Saranda: Aha. I stayed for like two days, but there were a lot of people that stayed there for like weeks, and they had very hard time, 'cause they didn't take any showers, they didn't have showers. They were dirty, they didn't have good food, they didn't have where to sleep. It was cold and everything, so you know, it was very bad.

Aida-S: Your sister told us that you were in school, in Macedonia?

Saranda: Yes, we went just for a little bit. I didn't really want to go, 'cause they spoke, they also learned Serbian language, and I didn't wanna anything to do with the Serbs. So, I didn't wanna go, and I was scared to leave the house from Macedonia. So, I didn't really go a lot, but my sister went.

Aida-S: So, you didn't actually live in school?

Saranda: Oh, for living there. Yeah, they brought us in school like, you know, in a gym. Yes, over there we stayed for like two weeks. And then, my Dad's friend, he came and got us, and he had, like, his own apartment, so he brought me, my parents and my brothers and sisters to live in his apartment, for like a month and a half.

Aida-S: Did you feel safe in Macedonia?

Saranda: Yes, I did, actually. 'cause there were so many Albanians there. And they were really nice to us, they gave us food, everything that we wanted, and they spoke our language, and it was safe.

Aida-S: And you were happy that you went there and you didn't stay in Macedonia?

Saranda: No, actually, I missed my country, I really wanted to go back, but I didn't have any choice.

Aida-S: So, from Macedonia you came to New York?

Saranda: Yes, we did.

Aida-S: How did you get here?

Saranda: My cousins. They were here for like, one of them was for ten years, so he brought us here in New York City. He lives here, too. So, he brought three families. My uncle, my Dad and my other uncle. Three families together.

Aida-S: When I had to come here, I had a long procedure, for one year, I had to go to interviews.

Saranda: Yeah, we also had to go to the doctors, you know, for shots and lot of stuff, yes.

Aida-S: So, he sent you papers, visa?

Saranda: Yes, visa. And when we came to America, we were on TV, on the news. They came to ... ?... we were in newspapers, and you know, all over.

Aida-S: In America?

Saranda: Yes, in America.

Aida-S: It was about you coming here?

Saranda: About the war and us coming here. How we suffer through the war, and how we're living here, in America, now. 'cause we were, like, in apartment with two rooms, and we were three, four families living together, and they wanted to know how we manage to do that. So, they put us on TV.

Aida-S: How did you feel when you see yourself in newspapers and on TV?

Saranda: I felt special, actually, 'cause I felt good that they wanted, they cared about us, and you know, how we lived and stuff.

Aida-S: How was the beginning for you here, in New York, how was the life?

Saranda: I was really, really sad, I didn't wanna live here, I wanted to go back to my country with my friends, my family, and I hated it, I didn't like it at all. I was so sad, I was crying and it wasn't good?

Aida-S: You cried because you missed your country or because you didn't like it here at all?

Saranda: Kind of like a both.

Aida-S: OK. So, then you started going to school?

Saranda: Yes, I started sixth grade here, in America.

Aida-S: Did you speak English?

Saranda: No, I didn't speak nothing, just "Hello", "Bye", you know, these very little words. 'cause I didn't learn English in my country.

Aida-S: How did people treat you in your school because you didn't speak English?

Saranda: Well, they put me in ESL where there were people that didn't speak English themselves. So, it wasn't that bad, you know.

Aida-S: So you were mostly with people that were like you?

Saranda: Yes, yeah.

Aida-S: So you didn't have much problems?

Saranda: Yeah. I didn't have a lot of problems. I also had a friend that was Albanian and she spoke little bit more English than me and I learned a lot from her.

Aida-S: How long have you been in America?

Aida-S: Do you have any concerns about being here? Like, are you worried about anything here, about your future?

Saranda: Yes, about my education. I wanna get good education, you know, in college and stuff.

Aida-S: How about alcohol and drug abuse? Are you afraid of that? Are you worried about that?

Saranda: Yes. 'cause most teenagers here get into that, into drugs and stuff, and I'm afraid that that could happen to me, too, from bad friends and stuff.

Aida-S: If you remember, did that stuff happen in Kosova, also drugs?

Saranda: Not at the beginning, not a lot, but now they are saying that that happens in my country also. They brought in my country too, lot of drugs, marijuana.

Aida-S: You went through the war and you know what it is, what could you say, what do you think about the war? And if you had a chance to talk to someone important in government, I don't know, some president or, I don't know, lets say George Bush, what would you tell him about the war, what do you think?

Saranda: Um, I don't know. I would've... Actually, president Bill Clinton, he also helped us a lot, you know, when he was a president of United States. So, I would just wanna thank him, actually, 'cause they helped a lot to people in my country.

Aida-S: How about George Bush, he is not really helping.

Saranda: No, not really, he is not.

Aida-S: So, what would you tell him, as a person that had experience with the war?

Saranda: Well, um, he could help my country, 'cause there is a lot of poor people who lost their houses during the war, 'cause the Serbs burned them down. He could help them build them up again and start new life, give them some money or something, you know, the poor ones.

Aida-S: So now, if somebody mentions war to you, if you just, I don't know, when you remember the war, what image do you have in your head, what do you remember most, like, something special?

Saranda: Yeah, um, I mostly remember, there was this guy, they were telling him to get out of his house and he said he didn't want to, so they kept on, they shot him, and he was with blood all over him. That thing I remember the most, from the whole war, from the whole thing.

Aida-S: Before you came to America, what image of America did you have? How did you imagine America?

Saranda: Well, I expected people to be nice, I thought it would be very beautiful, and that's what it is. I thought that all people are very, very rich here and had a little money, had a good job and stuff.

Aida-S: When you came here, were you disappointed or everything was like you wanted?

Saranda: Actually, yeah, it was like I wanted. I imagined it with the big buildings and you know, 'cause my cousins are not like really poor like some people, you know it was okay, I thought it was okay.

Aida-S: What are your plans for future, if you want to share? What would you like to do?

Saranda: I don't know. I might be, I wanna be something like a nurse or doctor, you know, something that has to be in hospital to help people who are sick, you know.

Aida-S: Yeah. How about, where do you wanna live? Would you like to stay here or you would like to go back home?

Saranda: At the beginning, when I first came here, for like one year, I really wanted to go back, but now, I like it here and I wanna go just for visit in my country, but not forever. I don't wanna go.

Aida-S: Why?

Saranda: I don't know. I'm used to staying here. I have cousins, I have friends, I know the language, I know everything and I like it. I'm used to it for three years and I like it.

Aida-S: Would you feel safe if you go there, to Kosova?

Saranda: No, not really. 'cause I heard that a lot of people are doing drugs and there are still Serbs there, and it's still not really safe.

Aida-S: How about here, after September 11th?

Saranda: I feel safe actually 'cause I don't think they are gonna do the same thing again since they didn't do anything in July 4th , you know, the biggest celebration of America, I feel safe now, I don't think they are gonna do anything else, so I'm not really scared.

Aida-S: How about the day when that happened, how did you feel?

Saranda: I felt really sorry for all the people 'cause I saw the news and I saw everybody jumping out of the buildings and I felt rally sad and angry.

Aida-S: Now, most people here don't like Muslims because they did that. Muslims attacked the Twin Towers. How do you feel as a Muslim?

Saranda: I think that they shouldn't like tell other Muslims that it's their fault 'cause it's not 'cause if there was a Christian that did that, they couldn't blame all Christians in America, 'cause it's not our fault. I mean, I'm not even from Arabia, but just because I'm Muslim, doesn't mean they should tell that it was my fault what happened. Muslims didn't have anything to do with Bin Laden or anything like that, so it wasn't our fault.

Ishmael: I'm gonna ask just a couple of questions. When she was asking you about your life before the war, can you just be specific and explain, like, what was your life and your family before the war? Just be, like, specific.

Saranda: Well, when we woke up in the morning, we had breakfast. My Dad went to work.

Aida-S:Were you happy?

Saranda: Yes, yes, I was very happy. I had friends, I had my family, my Grandparents living with me, and it was nice.

Ishmael: Although this question is like personal, at the time your Dad was kicked out from his job, what were you guys feeling, like before your Dad was working at reception, he is having a lot of money, now he is kicked, have you guys been thinking, like, oh are we gonna be having bread, are we gonna be having food? Mother is not working, then our Dad is the only one that is working, he got kicked out, how was you guys feeling?

Saranda: Well actually, when my father got kicked out of his office, I was little, I was like four years old, so I didn't really think about those things, you know, 'cause even before the real war started, they still had problems with the Serbs, a lot of problems. And that's when my Dad got kicked out, and I was little, so I didn't really think about that.

Ishmael: Then, earlier, you was talking about Serbs, you said you don't wanna have anything to do with them. Can you tell us what are your reactions toward them now that the war is over in Kosova? If you would like go back, what you would do or you wouldn't? Like for me in my country, there are just like the Rebels. I also don't want to anything with them, even though now the war, some people say it's getting finished, some people say it's still going on, some people say it's over, but I just don't wanna live with those Rebels because they are the one that break our houses, they kill us, they robbed our houses, they burned our houses. So, what are your reactions toward the Serbs, now that the war is over?

Saranda: I still don't want them in my country, I want only Albanians there to be free, and I don't wanna anything to do with them 'cause they did terrible things to my country, and they have no right to come back there for anything at all.

Ishmael: Can you just tell us some of the things that they have done to you guys?

Saranda: In the newspapers in my country I read that they did a lot of massacres. Like they took people alive and they cut their arms, their legs, their heads. It was terrible.

Ishmael: In Macedonia, you said everything was fine, you had fun, everything was OK, but I now things were not that OK because once you leave your country and go to another country you might have some problems. Like when I was in neighboring country, when I run away from country and go to another country, I have like a lot of discrimination, they took us to prison, they discriminate us because of our language, our culture and stuff. Did you have those kinds of things in Macedonia?

Saranda: No. 'Cause in Macedonia there is a lot of Albanians that speak the same language as me. So they were nice to me, and there were people that spoke Serbian also, Yugoslavian, but they were nice to me also. I was friends with them and the Albanians also, and I didn't really have problems with them, and they didn't have problems with me.

Ishmael: When you was like in Kosova, everything was like smooth, everything was going fine, I guess you was with your family, Mom and Dad, sisters. How was you feeling when you came here in US? When you was in Kosova, you have this idea that America is the land of the free, is the land of the rich, you can be rich in the second. Then, you come here, first in Kosova you was sleeping on a bed, then you come here in America that you was having all... (?)... Then you start sleeping on the floor. Then, you start sharing two-bedroom apartment with three families. How was you feeling? What are some of your feelings?

Saranda: I felt bad actually 'cause I had big room in my country and it was way better than in America, and I couldn't believe that it was New York City. The apartments were so small and I didn't like it. It was better in my country.

Aida-S: So in some way you were disappointed?

Saranda: Yes.

Ishmael: Before you came here, when you was in Macedonia, then your cousin said, "Oh, I made papers for you guys, you guys are coming." Like for me, when my father made papers for me, before I came here, I was like, oh I'm gonna be rich, I'm gonna finish school in one year. Because people are saying they promote you, in every month you go to a next grade. So I was like oh, I'm gonna finish school next year, I will have my own house, my own car or something. What was your expectation when you was about to come here? What you was expecting to see?

Saranda: In New York City?

Ishmael: Yeah.

Saranda: I expected really good education, yes, and I expected to finish it really fast also. And I thought that, 'cause in my country I learned really good also, and I though that if I learn really good I might get some kind of prize so when I go to college I'll get my own money from the school, but that's not really what happens. I learn good here also but you don't get like big scholarship or anything.

Ishmael: Then, can you like make some, I don't know, if you have like similarities and differences between your life as a teenagers in Kosova and here in the US? Make like some similarities and differences. What is like similar and what is different between your life here as a teenager and your life in Kosova as a teenager?

Saranda: Well, when I was in my country, they didn't really do drugs like teenagers do here in America, and they didn't like tease each other like they do in school here in America, but it was like pretty much the same, they go through the problems of what they wanna do with their life, and going to school and trying to learn good, and you know, those kind of stuff. But when I was there, they didn't really start doing drugs at like 14, 15 like they do in America. And they didn't have gangs and all the stuff.

Ishmael: So, if I will ask you, life here in the US as a teenager or life in Kosova as a teenager, which one do you prefer, here or in Kosova?

Saranda: I think here in New York is okay 'cause you don't have to do drugs unless you hang out with people that do. And you don't have to hang out with those kind of people, you could just get the kind of friends that want good stuff for you, you know. So I think it's fine here also.

Ishmael: OK. Then, I'm gonna take you back to Kosova, sorry. At the moment, okay, you said you saw the Serbs shot a guy, then the guy was bleeding, how was you feeling at that moment? When you was sharing, it's just like, because I know what is war, I know what is like feel to see somebody bleeding, it's just like I'm seeing the guy in front of me. What are your feelings at that moment that you saw this Serbian, or something, shot this guy and he was bleeding? What was your reaction to what the Serbian guy... ?

Saranda: I felt so angry at the Serbs. When I saw the guy I felt really, really bad for him 'cause I was just, I was terrified when I saw him bleeding like that, and it's like always in my memory, always, no matter how old I grow, it's always be there. And I felt so angry at all the Serbs, and that was pretty much my reaction.

Ishmael: Then, I'm gonna ask you the same question like I did for your sister. When you guys came here, your father was not speaking English, then your Mom, then you guys are not speaking English, then you was with your cousin, then your father want you guys to have your own apartment and live by yourselves as a family, or something. Then, your father has to start all over again here, like to find a job, he is not speaking English, he has to pay the bills, and your Mom can't work because she has to take care of you. What was you guys feeling at that moment as kids that my father is going to this, my father is that?

Saranda: Yeah, I felt really bad for my father 'cause he was working really, really hard with, it was like, you know, garbage man, where they work over there, there was this Albanian guy and he found the work for him and he worked from morning up to 2 o'clock in night, and he was so tired and I felt very bad for him.

Ishmael: Then, one last one. Your sister said it's six of you guys, how are you guys, like, at home be as a family, what are you guys doing for fun, although it's not part of the project, but I just want to know?

Saranda: What do we do for fun?

Ishmael: Yeah, getting along as brothers and sisters, because I am older brother but my sister is young, she is two or so(?). I don't have this kind of experience, like to be with my sister or my brother. So, how are you guys getting along, play or have fun?

Saranda: Well, just like all other children. We fight sometimes, but we got to the park, we go to McDonalds, and me and my bigger sister that you interviewed, with her we hang out the most. We have friends that we go over to house, we go to the beach, you know, those kind of stuff for fun.

Ishmael: I could tell you guys get along so good. You and your older sister.

Saranda: Yeah.

Aida-S: Do you have anything to add or to ask?

Saranda: No, not really.

Ishmael: You have any questions for us about the project, about our experiences, our past life, before we came here?

Saranda: Yeah. Do you guys have any bad memories from the war in your country? Something that happened really bad that you still remember?

Aida-S: Yeah. I remember the morning when I woke up, and my mother was sad, and my aunt was there. Then I asked her what happened and she said that my father was hurt, that he was shot. And then, he was in the hospital, so I was really worried for him, I was sad, but thanks God he is OK. So that's what I remember the most.

Ishmael: For me, every time when I think of it I just like, I normally just feel bad, especially it's very hard sometimes to talk about it. I was with my great-grandmother; she is the one that raised me. My father came here when I was five years, so I didn't even used to my father, then my mother abandoned me when I was two. So my great grandmother she was like my everything, my brother, my sister, my father, my uncle, my everything. I'm with her all the time. So when Rebels came to our house, that morning that they said they wanted like you to join them, then my Great Grandmother said, "No, I'm not give", she is not gonna give me up because I'm the only one, like, we love each other, we connected to each other. Then they shot her, then she died instantly. So that's one of mine, whenever I think of that, it just turns me off. Because since that day, they shot her, when she died, it's just like, my hope was gone, my joy, I was thinking. So, that's my worst memory.

Saranda: Oh, OK that's bad.

Aida-S: Well that's it. Thank you very much for your sharing.

Ishmael: Thank you so much. We appreciate it.

Saranda: You're welcome.